PARENTS:A WAY TO & HELP YOUR KIDS -- WITHOUT OVERSTEPPING
As Parents, you have 3 big assets
- Who you are
- What you know, and
- Who you know
10 Questions helps you bring those assets together in a way that feels supportive, not controlling.
For decades, research has shown that adult allies — starting with parents — have the greatest impact on a young person’s academic and professional success.
- Schools and colleges try.
Programs and counselors help.
But it’s the adults who know them, listen to them, and open doors that make the biggest difference.
And yet, many of the most important conversations — and introductions — never happen.
10 Questions is a purpose-driven set of guided conversations designed to change that by doing four simple things:
1. Giving parents a better way to connect
10 Questions gives parents a natural, low-pressure way to connect with their kids and understand who they are becoming — without intruding, interrogating, or asking questions they don’t want to answer.
It creates space for real listening at a moment when that’s often hardest to do, and replaces awkward check-ins with conversations that actually matter.
2. Giving kids a better way to understand who they are
Through short, guided conversations, kids begin to make sense of their interests, motivations, and emerging identity.
Not through tests or labels — but through conversation with you and other trusted adults.
They start to see patterns in what excites them, what drains them, and where they feel most capable and engaged.
3. Giving kids a better way to put who they are into words
10 Questions helps kids turn that clarity into their own language.
They develop simple, honest words to describe:
- who they are
- what they care about
- how they work best
- and what they’re exploring next
No labels.
No evaluations.
Just language that feels true — and that they can use confidently in real conversations with parents, mentors, and other adults.
4. Giving adult allies a better way to help
Many adults want to give back — friends, family members, colleagues — but they’re rarely asked in a meaningful way.
10 Questions creates a clear, comfortable reason to invite those adults into the conversation, turning goodwill into perspective, guidance, and real-world insight.
These aren’t interviews or networking exercises.
They’re conversations — the kind that help young people learn how the adult world actually works.
What do kids carry with them into the world?
By the time kids move on — to college, work, or whatever comes next — they don’t just leave with ideas about who they are.
They leave with:
- deeper self-awareness
- language they’ve already practiced using with adults
- experience being taken seriously in real conversations
- confidence built through connection, not performance
In short, they enter the world more prepared, more grounded, and more capable.
Not because someone told them who to be —
but because they’ve already practiced being themselves in rooms where it matters.
Why timing matters
There is a window when this kind of support works best — when kids are forming their adult identity but are still open to guidance.
For many families, that window is open right now.
10 Questions helps you step into it — calmly, respectfully, and without overstepping.
Q1. What exactly is The Ten Questions?
A: The Ten Questions is a guided reflection and conversation tool for you and your teen. Your teen answers 10 questions about their strengths, stress, and future. You answer 10 aligned questions from your perspective. The app then helps you see:
- where your stories match
- where they don’t
- and what that might mean for school, home, and future decisions
It’s not a test, not a parenting scorecard—just a structured way to understand each other better.
Q2. Is this therapy or a diagnostic tool?
A: No.
The Ten Questions is not therapy, a diagnostic tool, or a replacement for professional care. It does not diagnose or label your child.
Think of it as:
- a conversation engine
- a way to gather better language and shared insight
- something you can bring into therapy, school meetings, coaching, or other supports if you choose
Q3. How much time will this take me?
A: Most parents spend about 5–10 minutes per question.
Your teen’s questions are a bit deeper; yours are usually shorter reflections on what you see from the outside. Many families do:
- one question per week
- answer on a walk, in the car, or after your teen has finished their part
It’s designed to fit into real life, not take it over.
Q4. Will I be able to see all of my teen’s answers?
A: Only if they choose to share them.
By default, your teen’s answers belong to them. They can choose which questions to share and when.
This is on purpose: teens tend to be more honest, and less defensive, when they know they have control over what’s shared. Your answers are also private to you unless you choose to share.
Q5. What if my teen doesn’t want to participate?
A: That’s okay, and it’s common.
Pushing too hard can backfire. You can:
- show them a few questions so they see the tone
- emphasize: “No grades, no judgment, just trying to understand you better.”
- offer to try just one question together as an experiment
If they still say no, you can:
- complete your own side as a way to reflect
- invite them again later, when timing feels better
- use the question ideas informally in everyday conversations
Q6. My teen is neurodivergent (Autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, etc.). Is this appropriate?
A: Yes—and that’s who it was built for.
The Ten Questions is designed with “spiky” profiles in mind: young people whose strengths and struggles are uneven and often misunderstood.
The questions are:
- strengths-based, not deficit-based
- open-ended and flexible (text, voice, bullet points)
- meant to explore fit, needs, and context, not to “fix” your child
You know your teen best and can always adapt, skip, or pace questions to match their communication style and history.
Q7. What if this brings up hard memories or emotions?
A: That can happen—and we take it seriously.
Questions about misfit, stress, or being misread may touch on painful experiences. That’s why we:
- allow teens and adults to skip any question
- encourage breaks and pacing
- suggest using this alongside, not instead of, professional support when needed
If a question feels “too much,” it’s okay to step back, name that it’s hard, and come back later—or not at all.
Q8. What happens with our data?
A: We treat your data as sensitive, not as a product.
In plain language:
- We do not sell your teen’s data to advertisers.
- Answers are private by default and only shared when you or your teen actively choose to.
- Any patterns we study (for research or improvement) are anonymized and aggregated.
A full privacy policy will spell out how data is stored, how long, and under what protections.
Q9. How does this help with school or future planning?
A: The Ten Questions gives you better material for real-life decisions.
By the end, you and your teen have a simple portfolio that highlights:
- when and where they thrive
- what overwhelms or burns them out
- what kinds of work/problems they care about
- what a realistic, meaningful “Future Tuesday” might look like
You can bring those insights into:
- IEP/504 meetings
- college and career counseling
- conversations with therapists, coaches, or mentors
- family decisions about courses, jobs, gap years, or support
Q10. What if we disagree with what the app “shows” us?
A: That’s okay—the point isn’t to be “right.”
The app doesn’t give you a final verdict or label. It simply highlights:
- where your answers overlap
- where they diverge
- and questions you might want to talk about together
If you disagree, that’s often where the richest conversations live:
“Here’s how I see it, here’s how you see it—why is that?”
The goal is Double Empathy: you both getting better at seeing from each other’s side, not one of you winning the argument.
Q11. What if our relationship is already strained? Will this make things worse?
A: It’s designed to make things gentler, not harsher—but it’s not magic.
If things are very tense, The Ten Questions can:
- give you a structured, time-limited way to talk about deeper topics
- shift the focus from “what’s wrong with you” to “how can we understand this better?”
But it can’t repair everything alone. If you’re dealing with serious conflict, safety concerns, or trauma, we strongly encourage involving qualified professionals and using this as a supplement, not a solution.
Q12. Who created this and what is it based on?
A: The Ten Questions grew out of a parent who was frustrated with the inability to have conversations with his children, and a research project in 1997 that wanted a reliable laboratory procedure for generating interpersonal closeness between strangers, so that intimacy processes could be studied experimentally rather than only through correlational or longitudinal designs. Existing intimacy research often documented associations (e.g., between self-disclosure and closeness) but lacked a manipulable, standardized protocol for actually creating closeness under controlled conditions.
Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363–377.