Q1. What exactly is The Ten Questions?

 A: The Ten Questions is a guided reflection and conversation tool for you and your teen. Your teen answers 10 questions about their strengths, stress, and future. You answer 10 aligned questions from your perspective. The app then helps you see:

• where your stories match
• where they don’t
• and what that might mean for      school, home, and future decisions

It’s not a test, not a parenting scorecard—just a structured way to understand each other better.

  A: No.
The Ten Questions is not therapy, a diagnostic tool, or a replacement for professional care. It does not diagnose or label your child.

Think of it as:

• a conversation engine
• a way to gather better      language and shared insight
• something you can bring into     therapy, school meetings, coaching, or other supports if you choose

  A: Most parents spend about 5–10 minutes per question.
Your teen’s questions are a bit deeper; yours are usually shorter reflections on what you see from the outside. Many families do:

• one question per week
• answer on a walk, in the car, or      after your teen has finished their part

It’s designed to fit into real life, not take it over.

 A: Only if they choose to share them.
By default, your teen’s answers belong to them. They can choose which questions to share and when.

This is on purpose: teens tend to be more honest, and less defensive, when they know they have control over what’s shared. Your answers are also private to you unless you choose to share.

  A: That’s okay, and it’s common.
Pushing too hard can backfire. You can:

• show them a few questions so they      see the tone
• emphasize: “No grades, no      judgment, just trying to understand you better.”
• offer to try just one question     together as an experiment

If they still say no, you can:

• complete your own side as a way      to reflect
• invite them again later, when      timing feels better
• use the question ideas informally      in everyday conversations

  A: Yes—and that’s who it was built for.
The Ten Questions is designed with “spiky” profiles in mind: young people whose strengths and struggles are uneven and often misunderstood.

The questions are:

• strengths-based, not      deficit-based
• open-ended and flexible (text,      voice, bullet points)
• meant to explore fit, needs,      and context, not to “fix” your child

You know your teen best and can always adapt, skip, or pace questions to match their communication style and history.

  A: That can happen—and we take it seriously.
Questions about misfit, stress, or being misread may touch on painful experiences. That’s why we:

• allow teens and adults to skip      any question
• encourage breaks and pacing
• suggest using this alongside, not      instead of, professional support when needed

If a question feels “too much,” it’s okay to step back, name that it’s hard, and come back later—or not at all.

  A: We treat your data as sensitive, not as a product.
In plain language:

• We do not sell your teen’s      data to advertisers.
• Answers are private by default      and only shared when you or your teen actively choose to.
• Any patterns we study (for      research or improvement) are anonymized and aggregated.

A full privacy policy will spell out how data is stored, how long, and under what protections.

  A: The Ten Questions gives you better material for real-life decisions.
By the end, you and your teen have a simple portfolio that highlights:

• when and where they thrive
• what overwhelms or burns them out
• what kinds of work/problems they      care about
• what a realistic, meaningful      “Future Tuesday” might look like

You can bring those insights into:

• IEP/504 meetings
• college and career counseling
• conversations with therapists,      coaches, or mentors
• family decisions about courses,      jobs, gap years, or support

 A: That’s okay—the point isn’t to be “right.”
The app doesn’t give you a final verdict or label. It simply highlights:

• where your answers overlap
• where they diverge
• and questions you might want to      talk about together

If you disagree, that’s often where the richest conversations live:
“Here’s how I see it, here’s how you see it—why is that?”

The goal is Double Empathy: you both getting better at seeing from each other’s side, not one of you winning the argument.

  A: It’s designed to make things gentler, not harsher—but it’s not magic.
If things are very tense, The Ten Questions can:

• give you a structured,      time-limited way to talk about deeper topics
• shift the focus from “what’s      wrong with you” to “how can we understand this better?”

But it can’t repair everything alone. If you’re dealing with serious conflict, safety concerns, or trauma, we strongly encourage involving qualified professionals and using this as a supplement, not a solution.

 A: The Ten Questions grew out of a parent who was frustrated with the inability to have conversations with his children, and a research project in 1997 that wanted a reliable laboratory procedure for generating interpersonal closeness between strangers, so that intimacy processes could be studied experimentally rather than only through correlational or longitudinal designs. Existing intimacy research often documented associations (e.g., between self-disclosure and closeness) but lacked a manipulable, standardized protocol for actually creating closeness under controlled conditions. 

Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363–377.